The Single Life: Single Yet Secure

This article would carry the weight of experience if it came from the pen (keyboard) of one of our single brethren. However, an editor always serves as the default writer when a series is lacking in writers. The only comforting thing is that the principles of the Word of God are true whether they come from a single person who has experienced and known them, or a married person who exposits them from the Word of God. So bear with the writer as we explore and profit from the Scriptures.

Security! What is it? For many it is an elusive mirage linked with money, pensions, homes, husbands (or wives), connections, power, or position. But can security be found in any of these? More germane are the questions: does God intend us to find our security in any of these? Were we made to be anchored to things and people? Were we designed to find security in what depends on so many variables and unpredictable events? Is a woman to find security in a husband? While God intends that a husband make his wife secure in his love, her ultimate security is not in him.

Traverse the streets of the small village of Bethany; come finally to a small home in the village. There are lessons to be learned here. As we open the door we are greeted by three people: Martha would undoubtedly be the first to rise and welcome us. Mary, being contemplative, would likely be eyeing us and wondering about our visit. Lazarus might eventually come to meet us and welcome us as well. Though Scripture is not definitive about the marital status of this small family, there is good reason to believe that here were three single, unmarried people. They possessed differing personalities and temperaments, learned through differing avenues, and appreciated different aspects of truth; yet each found security in something other than the tangible, visible, and material. Lessons about security can be learned in this household.

The Sovereign Who Controls

Forget the advertisements which link a good night’s sleep to a particular mattress or pillow. The greatest pillow upon which one can rest her head at night is the pillow of His sovereign control of all. Nothing happens outside His wisdom and love. His power is omnipotent and it is all used for the blessing of His own.

John 11 tells us that the Lord knew that all was designed for the glory of God and the blessing of His own: “This sickness is not unto death but for the glory of God” (v 4). The illness that overtook Lazarus was not only known to the Lord, but allowed. He took no pleasure in the tears and grief of a family; He found no secret pleasure in the sorrow that filled hearts or the questions that filled minds. Yet He saw beyond the present to the ultimate joy and spiritual growth the occasion would bring.

There is One Who is sovereign in every aspect of your life. Your singleness has not escaped His notice. It is not some aberration of His will or some mistake in His plan. He has not given you second best and asked you to “grin and bear” it as your lot in life. Every circumstance allowed by Him in life is for His self-revelation to your soul.

The Sovereign Who Conceives

The life you have is given to you by God. Centuries earlier, David, amidst days of despondency when it seemed that his sorrow was so great that “deep called unto deep,” came to the realization that everything came from the hand of the One he called, “the God of my life” (Psa 42:8). His life was conceived by, and planned by, God. Not only is His power operative, but His love and wisdom are equally active in formulating that plan. He never gives second best to those who belong to Him. His planning is not reactive to the events which occur in life. He is proactive, planning each step, each trial, each circumstance. He never has to resort to alternative plans because of failure on His part.

He conceives and carries out His grand design for your life and mine. These are not mere platitudes which come easily from the lips; they are the reality of life as received from His hand and lived under His eye.

The Sovereign Who Cares

“Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus” (John 11:5). Where can security be found? In the same love He bore for these three single believers. If sovereignty controlled the events that were allowed, then sympathy and love controlled His response to everything. Did they need highly connected persons to help them? Did they require the material things to give comfort in their sorrow? Did their wealth enable them to escape the inevitable loneliness of the loss they incurred? His tears meant more to their hearts than all the words and wails of the professional mourners. His presence brought greater comfort than all the well-intentioned comments of the townspeople.

He cares! Your life is not out of control. Your circumstances are not a test of your fortitude. They are permitted to enable you to learn something of Christ which others may not learn. He, in Himself, is the ultimate security which God intends us to have.

The Sovereign Who Conquers

We may not see resurrections from the dead or miracles of a similar nature, but what the Lord is working in your life is the very same goal: “Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?” (11:40). Perhaps His hand in your life is not as dramatic, is less awe-inspiring to the masses, and is less worthy of the headlines in the newspaper, but it is just as real and just as much a revelation of all God is. As He works out His plan for your life, and as you rest in the security of His control and care, He conquers – and you conquer with Him.

Ultimate security in life is found in a Person – and only in one Person.