Touch Topics for Teens: The Purity You Protect

You are rich! God has given you the gift of sexual purity that is worth more than all the money in the world. But just like any gift from God, you can waste it in sin, or you can preserve it for His glory.

The Design

Is it worth it to wait?

Made for Marriage: God made you so that one day you can enjoy intimate relations with your marriage partner. Therefore, all the chemicals, desires, and parts of your body are part of God’s creation. They are good, pure, and virgin and, according to God’s Biblical blueprint, are intended to be kept that way until marriage.

According to God’s plan, when a man and woman get married, “they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). When a couple enjoys oneness of convictions, interests, goals, values, friendship, and commitment, they marry. Then and only then can they truly enjoy physical oneness.

It is not a case of just waiting until you “fall in love.” The first couple, Adam and Eve, did not enjoy physical relations until God brought the woman to the man in marriage. This is still God’s will today. He says, “Abstain from fornication” (1 Thessalonians 5:3), the Bible word referring to all illicit sexual relations. Fornication may be pleasurable for a moment, but it is a sin against God and a terrible mistake. Don’t miss out on the incredible joy of sharing your purity on your wedding day. Love God and love your partner so much that you will wait to enter into God’s beautiful design for holiness in physical intimacy. It will be worth it!

Made for Maturity: The first ones to enjoy physical relations were a man and a woman, not two teenagers. Having intimate relations with a spouse is such a holy privilege, that it requires maturity to handle the equally holy responsibility that comes with it. You cannot enjoy one without the other. That is why, in Bible times, parents arranged the marriages (don’t start sweating!). Having been married, parents would be better equipped to make sure the couple was ready for the great privileges and responsibilities of marriage, including physical relations.

Therefore, dating is not a fun Friday-night activity. It is a serious time of preparation for a life of marriage. So, if you can’t wait, you shouldn’t date! If you are not mature enough to handle the pleasures and responsibilities of marriage, you are likely not ready to begin heading down the dating pathway.

The Damage

Is losing your purity that serious?

Above all, fornication is sin against God. The uncleanness of sexual sin may be tolerated on television, but it is still hated by heaven. It is a violation of God’s honor and holiness and “God will judge the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4 ESV). God also says that “ye are not your own, for ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body . . .” (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20). Wasting your purity is an insult to His design, disobedience to His Word, and a misuse of His property.

Fornication is given special attention when God says, “he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). God prohibits it because he wants to protect you from AIDS, herpes, syphilis, and a host of other sexually transmitted diseases. He also wants to prevent babies from being born to teen parents and He wants to keep you from guilty memories for the rest of your life.

The Defense

How can you keep pure?

Be careful what you think! The first line of defense is your mind. The Lord Jesus said, “Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Controlling your thoughts is the first step to keeping your purity. And a good offense is the best defense. Fill the hard drive of your mind with good things, giving less space for storage of corrupt files. As Paul said, “whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

Be careful what you see! The Bible gives a list of some sexual sins in Romans 1. Then it says, “Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them” (Romans 1:32). In other words, you share the guilt if you enjoy watching other people sin. Clunk! There go many videos in the garbage can. Also, avoid the temptation of web surfing. Pray daily that God will give you help to keep your eyes pure from what is sinful or tempting.

Be careful what you say! “But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints” (Ephesians 5:3). Discussions of sexual perversions, off-color jokes, and comments with double meanings will only make you less sensitive to the sinfulness of sexual impurity. They make you callous to the shock of sin and make it easier to commit fornication. Make the Psalmist’s prayer the longing of your life, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord” (Psalm 19:14).

Be careful what you do! The story is told of the man who wanted to hire a limousine driver. He asked the three applicants to show how close they could drive to the edge of a cliff on a curvy road. The first came within a foot. Proudly he turned the keys over to the second, daring him to beat his feat. The second came within six inches. The third started the car, looked at the owner, and said, “Sir, because I value your safety and mine, I will stay as far from the edge as possible!” He got the job!

Most people try to get as close to the edge of losing their moral purity as they can. How foolish! Paul taught, “Make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof” (Romans 13:14). The wise man asked, “Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?” (Proverbs 6:28). Instead of asking where the limit is so you can get close, stay far from it in your actions, words, and even how you dress.

Be careful where you go! Knowing how strong passion can be, Paul told a young man named Timothy, “Flee youthful lusts” (2 Timothy 2:22). He warned him to avoid places where lusts and passions would be ignited and purity would be at risk. Is it helpful to go to a movie and see something that stirs passion within you? Is it wise to spend hours alone with the person you are dating? You constantly and consciously must choose to be in places that will help preserve your purity.

Be careful who you are with! People can help keep you pure. When dating, stay in the public eye. At home, keep your computer in the sight of others. On the other hand, being around the wrong person could put you at risk. Anyone who is not committed to your purity is not your friend. Sister, your date may claim love, but if he wants to compromise your purity, it is not love. It is plain selfish lust. So, seek out a partner who will truly love you and support your quest for moral purity.

The Decision

How important is it…to YOU?

Commitment to purity is not an emotional decision at a conference. It is a spiritual decision alone with God in your closet. Have you ever told your Creator what you think of your purity? Will you today, make a commitment in His presence to keep yourself holy for Him and wholly for the marriage partner of His choice on your wedding day? May God burn this conviction deep into your heart and help you to live out your exercise despite all the challenges to the Purity You Protect.