Out of Every Kindred, and Tongue, and People, and Nation: Prince Edward Island

“O God, It Is Not Fair!”

Does life have any real meaning or purpose? Why are we here? In my search for the answer to these questions, I turned to drugs. I won’t go into the things I did to support my drug habit. I am ashamed of them, even though all my sins are under the blood of Christ and that one great sacrifice at Calvary has made me perfect in the sight of God.

I was married at twenty and brought my wife into my misery. To make things worse, our little girl was born into this misery. By then, I knew I was a hopeless addict, whose only prospect was being found in an alley, dead from an overdose.

One day a lady called Carol Hyde came to take our daughter to some children’s meeting. I asked her what she was. She said, “I am a Christian.” She told me that the Lord Jesus had died to take the punishment for her sins and that the moment she trusted Him she became one of Christ’s, and that meant a Christian.

Later two men from the assembly, Eddie and Doug, visited us. I said, “You know, you and I are like people stranded on a desert island. We have told ourselves that a big ship is going to come and take us off the island. That is what keeps us going from day to day – we have our big ship. This syringe is my big ship. It gets me from day to day. Your Jesus and your salvation are your big ship, but really we are just in the same boat.” One of them replied, “I want to read something to you,” and he read from the Bible. Just an inkling of hope seemed to reach the middle of my dark empty existence. It softened and touched me the first time I heard it. But I said to him, “I know the Jesus story. Anybody could write something like that.” He responded, “But not 700 years before it happened. And besides, who told you it was talking about Jesus?” It just came to me that everything that God said would happen did happen, and I was afraid.

Eddie kept coming back. I would tell him what a drug addict I was and he would say, “You know, it is a wonderful thing that God loves you and sent His Son to die for you.” He told me that Christ was the Savior and no matter how vile a person was, “this Man receiveth sinners.” But one day tears were in his eyes as he said, “Oh Peter, salvation is not only the joy of receiving Christ, it is being delivered from a real hell. Unless you get serious about this matter you are going to die in your sin and go to hell.”

That night I went to a party. I used as much drugs as I could in order to forget his words, but I could still hear and see him. I said to a man I knew, “Billy, I have to go. I can’t stay here. I am going to hell.” Billy said, “We are all going to hell.” “But,” I replied, “someone told me there was a way out; I have to find it.” Billy said, “You go. I’ll cover for you. But if you ever get it, let me know.”

The next night I was invited to a Bible reading. No matter what portion they were reading they would say, “Isn’t it wonderful that there is no limit to the mercy of God?” After the meeting a man asked me if I was saved. “No,” I replied, “but I really want to be saved. I don’t want to go to hell.” He started reading Bible verses, but I couldn’t understand how I could know my sins forgiven. Finally he said, “The Word of God tells you that the work that can take you to heaven has been perfectly done. If that is not enough, you will just have to go to hell.” I thought, “I can never live knowing that I am going to hell with all the sins I will have to account for. I can’t live that way and I certainly can’t die that way.” I started to cry and said, “I don’t want to go to hell. Please help me.” “The Bible tells us that the very worst sinner is in heaven tonight because of the power of the blood of Christ,” he replied. “It’s too bad it isn’t enough for you.” At that point it just dawned on me that the God Who told me that I was going to hell was also telling me that the worst sinner could be in heaven. At that moment I couldn’t think of one reason why it wasn’t enough. Not one. As low as I was, I realized that I could go to heaven because of the power that was in the blood of Christ. I accepted by faith the truth that, “the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin.” I bowed my head and prayed. “It seems so obvious and yet so simple that the Lord Jesus did it all and because of Him I can go to heaven. Lord, is that it; is that salvation?” I looked down at the Bible and saw three words, “It is finished.” It seemed as if God was saying, “Peter, that is it!” I cried, “Oh God, it is not fair! It is not fair that I should do all the sinning and He should do all the suffering!”

God saved me that night over twenty years ago, and He can save you now. “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.”