The expression “man’s best friend” is not a new one. Historically, it dates back over 250 years to the king of a mighty nation who supposedly ascribed the title to his faithful Italian greyhound. For him it was the most loyal of friends, one that would never betray him. However, is that really the pinnacle of true and faithful friendship? The Bible clearly shows that all of humanity is encouraged to seek out authentic, long-lasting friendship with others.
Right from creation, God, having already created animals, looked over His creation to see that man was alone and declared it was not good; man should not be alone. Announcing this, God did not then assign a dog, cat or fish to be the faithful companion, the help, the friend that man needed. God made another human to fill that void, for animals have not the same capacity for emotion, experience, free will and desire to search out God. He made someone with a soul, just like Adam, an eternal being. God does not want us to be alone and does not want us to fill that void with just any other mammal but with that which was created in His own image.
Why then does it feel at times that good friends are hard to come by? In an age when friends and followers can be obtained by the hundreds or even thousands if our online presence is impressive enough, why is it that the digital headcount of friends doesn’t truly satisfy and still leaves us lonely? What does it mean to have good friends? What does it mean to be a good friend?
A Good Friend Is Personal
We may judge how good a friend is by how often they give a “like” or a heart emoji on one of our photos or posts. The more digitally active the person, the better friend they must be – just look at their profile to see how many friends and followers they have. However, how much sacrifice and personal investment does that sort of friendship really take? Typically, likes and hearts are sent out by the hundreds per day by some people. Scripture speaks of how real friends should interact. Moses interacted with God face to face, as a man speaks to his friend (Exo 33:11). There was something special, something personal about how Moses and God interacted; it was face to face, as far as one could be face to face with God. It begs the question, When was the last time we interacted face to face with a so-called friend? It certainly takes sacrifice, much more than speed scrolling and handing out likes and hearts in bulk from the comfort of our own home, but that’s the whole point and design of true friendship.
Despite their flawed advice at times, Job’s friends did what a good friend should do in time of need. When they heard of the suffering and tragedy that came to their friend, it wasn’t just a simple prayer emoji they sent his way to show their “care.” Scripture says, “They came every one from his own place” (Job 2:11 KJV). There was sacrifice and commitment and something extremely personal about what they did. They left their homes and came to be present with their friend. In an increasingly impersonal age, we often adopt the mentality that a quick text or audio message is of equal value as our personal presence. And while those things at times can have value, true friendship runs much deeper. Being a good friend means face-to-face interaction; it means a personal presence when necessary. A good friend is a personal friend.
A Good Friend Is Loyal
As humans, we have different value systems and perspectives on things. However, one thing we all highly value is loyalty. Just as in marriage (is my spouse my best friend?), we highly value loyalty in friendships. The Proverbs states, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (17:17 NKJV). In other words, a friend is loyal at all times, even in the face of adversity. When the going gets tough, that’s when true, meaningful friendships will reveal themselves. In fact, being loyal in adversity will make the friendship that much stronger. Later still in the Proverbs, the advice is given to “not forsake your own friend … nor go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity; better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away” (27:10 NKJV). A loyal friend close by can be of more value than a family member living on the opposite side of the country. A good friend is a loyal friend.
A Good Friend Is Limited
At the start of social networking, there was an emphasis placed on who your top friends were. Make it into someone’s top five friends, and what else was needed in life? Now, the emphasis has completely changed from who your top friends are to how many total friends you have. Is it possible to be friends with 500 people? Certainly not. What about just 50? Also unlikely. Would it be of more value to both you and them if you were very much invested in being a good friend to just ten or even five people rather than trying to manage a cordial acquaintance with 50 or more? The Proverbs warns us of the folly in having so many “half” friends that we don’t have any true ones. “One with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother” (18:24 CSB). When it comes right down to it, in the thick of the battle of life, when the need arises, having many “almost” friends will leave you lonely and unfulfilled. But having even just one true friend, one who is like a brother, is where value is found.
The wisdom of Ecclesiastes further emphasizes the importance of quality over quantity when it states that “two are better than one” and that “a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecc 4:9,12 KJV). This highlights the importance of not being alone, of two being better than one, and even three being better than two at times. It does not state that twenty is better than one or that a twelve-fold cord is not easily broken. Invest in less. Focus on being a better friend to a few than an acquaintance to many. A good friend is a limited friend.
