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rather than pointing out the shortfalls of certain holidays, consumption of certain
my brother (Mat 7:5). food or drink, recreational choices and
A difference of preferences. A healthy more, we are to mitigate conflict with
preference is fine as long as it doesn’t those whose conscience differs from our
hinder us from “being like-minded, hav- own (Rom 14).
ing the same love …. Let nothing be done A difference of upbringing/background.
through selfish ambition or conceit, but in Often issues on which we differ can be
lowliness of mind let each esteem others traced to opinions informed by diverse
better than himself. Let each of you look generational, regional or cultural back-
out not only for his own interests, but also grounds. We must be aware that diversity
for the interests of others” (Php 2:2-4). This was God’s idea, and should be viewed in
others-first attitude is seen most power- terms of the blessing it brings rather than
fully in Christ Himself. Whether it be despising those whose life experience has
pandemic restrictions, political leanings been different from ours (Eph 2:13-16; 1Co
or the auditorium paint color, believers 12:18-25).
would be wise to carefully avoid allow- Sinful behavior. We have noted above
ing these to become divisive, especially that conflict isn’t always owing directly
in public. The airing of our grievances on
social media and expression of disdain to sin. But, sadly, sometimes it is. James
for those who disagree not only distract indicts his readers with a searing question:
us from our main purpose in the world, “What causes quarrels and what causes
but also bring dishonor to the One whose fights among you? Is it not this, that your
name we claim. passions are at war within you?” (Jas 4:1
A perceived violation of rights. In a dispute ESV). James writes of conflict with other
about the fence line with my neighbor, believers because of pride, of conflict with
what would grieve me more: to lose a God because of friendship with the world,
sliver of my property or a slice of my testi- and of conflict with Satan over against fel-
mony? Which will matter most in eternity? lowship with God. In addition to selfish
Paul chided the believers in Corinth for pride, conflict rooted in sin can be due to
their failure to resolve their conflicts on gossip (Pro 17:9; 26:20), a refusal to forgive
their own, going instead before the court (Mat 18:28-32), a disobedient relationship
of unbelievers. That they had gone to the (2Co 6:14-18) or unconfessed sin (Mat 5:21-
extent of litigation actually worsened the 24), to name a few. Recognizing the nature
conflict. “To have lawsuits at all with one of such conflict will lead us to be ruthless
another is already a defeat for you. Why with sin rather than with saints.
not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather Sometimes we create conflict needlessly
be defrauded?” (1Co 6:7 ESV). Paul has when it would be better avoided, and
no sympathy for swindlers (v10), but as- sometimes conflict must be confronted
serts it is better to be the defrauded than scripturally. At times, it may be beneficial
the defrauder! to involve a qualified third party (Php
A difference of convictions. How often 4:3) to help “live in harmony with one
have believers allowed matters of con- another,” but always, “so far as it depends
science to cause a breakdown in relation- on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom
ship with others? In the observance of 12:16,18 ESV).

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