Page 17 - August 2023 - Truth & Tidings
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recognition and the practice of headship   so that, in the end, all misunderstandings
        (the key is in the little word “as” and the   are swept away and the two are left alone
        phrase “even as”): “Wives, submit your-  undisturbed.
        selves unto your own husbands, as unto   In a Christian marriage, however, the
        the Lord. For the husband is the head of   presence of a third party is essential. It must
        the wife, even as Christ is the head of the   be marriage “in the Lord.” The paradox is
        church: and he is the saviour of the body.   that when a husband and his wife seek to
        Therefore as the church is subject unto   put the Lord first and love Him more, their
        Christ, so let the wives be to their own   love for one another grows even stronger
        husbands in every thing. Husbands,   and their lives together make a mark for
        love your wives, even as Christ also loved   God. Think of Aquila and Priscilla: loving
        the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph   one another – always being together; loving
        5:22-25 KJV; cf. Col 3:18-19).      the Lord – always serving Him together; and
          Now we are beginning to understand   loving His people – always helping others
        the beauty of God’s design. The husband   together.
        is to step up to his responsibility in tak-  A God-fearing couple will discuss all
        ing the lead and setting the tone. A wife   major decisions together. A wise husband
        is to submit, but what is she submitting   will listen carefully to his wife and consider
        to? Nothing less than sacrificial love and   her opinion; in some matters, she may be
        care that knows no bounds. This, surely,   more perceptive. Marriage is not meant to
        is what a woman desires deep within   be an ongoing conflict of stubborn wills but
        her heart. In marriage, she is not a slave   rather a blending of Christlike minds. In
        nor an inferior or second-class citizen.   implementing any final decision, the hus-
        She is equally precious to God, but her   band will take the lead on behalf of both.
        role is different.                  He will learn to be continually supportive
          Christian marriage is to be a living   of his wife, not only practically but also
        example of the relationship between   emotionally. She can readily submit to him,
        Christ and His Church. It is to be filled   confident of his love, and encourage him to
        with unity, love, trust, kindness and   be a true man of God.
        joy. The devil seeks to destroy all of this   “But what if ...?”
        and replace it with division, selfishness,   What if a husband or wife is cruel, domi-
        suspicion, cruelty and misery. Sadly, a   neering or even violent? Sad to say, there
        husband can be demanding, domineer-  are more and more marriages plagued with
        ing, cruel and manipulative. A wife can   such serious and complicated challenges.
        be the same.                        At times, there can be an urgent need for
        The “Triangle of Love”              separation to protect a spouse and other
          In the world of popular romantic   family members from harm. However, the
        fiction, the central but elusive theme is   Bible does not condone divorce. God hates
        that of a man and a woman finding true   it and regards it as treachery in breaking a
        love. The storyline is often complicated   covenant made before the Lord (Mal 2:14-
        because there is a third party, or antago-  16). Elders today need to be wise and also
        nist, involved. This creates the dramatic   watchful for the early signs of a marriage
        tension that is deemed necessary for an   in trouble and seek to intervene and give
        interesting story. It requires resolution   counsel before it is too late.

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